These Damaged Emotions: Walking Dead
by Strangerthanstrange
Summary: Two-Shot Request for 22girlsin1: The Governor shows his true feelings he has for Andrea, but she doesn't return them, the feelings she shares with another man get in the way of Philip's plans; language, slight violence, alcohol use and other mixed adult themes
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is a request for a pretty awesome writer _22girlsin1; _Andrea realizes that Philip has had feelings for her ever since their first encounter, but those feelings are not mutual; she admires him as a man and as the person he is, but she doesn't feel the same. The loveless woman finds comfort in another man wandering Woodbury, by the way, this takes place in Season three somewhere in the beginning, but there is no true scene from the TV show itself; I hope you enjoy it, it will be good! TWO-SHOT BTW**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own this! I gladly leave it to Mr. Kirkman and all the other lovely minds behind it, nor do I make any profit!**

**Warnings: Language, slight violence, and sexual themes**

**These Unrequited Emotions: Walking Dead**

**::**

She took a sip from her glass of whiskey, given to her by Philip. He sat across from her at his kitchen table, staring at her contently. Just looking at her lovely being made his heart flutter and his mouth water. He almost felt like a child again whenever they were together.

He had to share something much more intimate with her other than that whiskey he so thoroughly enjoyed.

"Would you like to see my garden, it will only take a few minutes?" his southern coated voice had finally broken the silence that bound the two of them so close together, and she set her glass down with a friendly smile. She nodded; "Sure," she stood up just moments after Philip, and the two left his apartment, and fled in to the back. Once the lovely flowers and plants had made it in to Andrea's view, she was speechless;

"How did you manage to grow all of them?" she asked out of pure curiosity, and Philip just stood there, one hand in his hunting trouser pocket, a square glass in the other and a smile on his lips, watching Andrea admire the beauty of the flowers.

Philip looked over at the flowers too.

"There were already a few growin', so I decided to keep waterin' them, keep them alive and this is what happened, I love them all," Philip answered very smoothly and honestly, taking an extra sip from his glass.

Andrea put both of her hands in her cargo pant pockets and turned to face the Governor. He stood a foot taller than her, staring down at her, losing his every last thought in those blue eyes of hers.

He noticed himself stepping up to the plate very slowly, one hand reaching out to hold her hip, but she interrupted him. She placed a gentle hand in the middle of his chest and flashed him a beautiful smile. "I'm sorry, I-" she was now interrupted, but he batted his eyes and gave her a friendly smile in return. "No, don't be sorry, it was my fault, I guess its just the whiskey talkin'," he reassured her as calmly as he possibly could, returning his hands in to the pockets of his hunting trousers. Andrea looked down at her feet just before giving him one last smile.

"Thank you for the drink, and for showing me these beautiful flowers," she said with that same smile, and the two of them left; Andrea headed for town, while Philip stayed inside, watching her from a window.

Why couldn't he get her off his mind? She was just a woman, not a jewel, not his wife, and not his Penny, it confused him rather than angered him.

He spent the remainder of his night inside, eating a ham sandwich and drinking cold whiskey.

**.**

That night, after an hour of falling asleep, she came in to his own personal sleep realm. It felt so real, it seemed like reality was actually paying attention to his feelings, but the moment he woke up, heart pounding and a cold sweat dripping from his body, he realized it wasn't real, far from.

He woke up at six forty five, pretty great timing.

The man hit the shower, got dressed, shaved what needed to be shaved, cooked himself up some eggs on the skillet, brushed his teeth and finally left the apartment, feeling totally alive once he stepped outside in to the wonderful warmth.

The girls must still be asleep, pretty strange but possible.

"Governor," that ragged, beat to shit voice was none other than Merle Dixon's, and the man was standing right before Philip; he must have something important to admit, since the man never came around him any other time. Philip was all ears as the two began to walk towards the wall.

"A few walkers snuck in last night, I killed 'em 'fore they got anybody, but it was a close call, Governor, you want me to check the walls 'gain?" Merle admitted, and Philip stopped along with the redneck beside him.

What would he do without that man around?

Philip nodded his head; "Sure, just be careful, make sure the rest of the town is safe and secure," Philip acknowledged just the way Merle hoped and the man was off.

Wandering around town was usually what Philip would do when he wasn't busy with something; he made sure everyone had what they needed, children were safe, the children were with their parents, and just simply walking around, enjoying what was left of their world. Everybody looked up to Philip with great pride and loyalty, they all thought he was their savior, even their angel from heaven some would say. He didn't enjoy hearing that, but it made him smile.

Suddenly, just up ahead a little ways, he spotted that blonde beauty again. Not wanting to surprise Andrea again like last night, he made sure she saw him first, even though it was the other way around.

She had Michonne at her side, but the woman never really talked. She went her own way, to grab something to eat, leaving Andrea and Philip alone. Nice timing Michonne;

"Good morning," Andrea was the first to say with a simple smile framing her lips. Philip returned it with a return of a smile. "Did you sleep well?" the man asked, and the both of them began their walk down the road. She nodded; "Yeah, you?" she replied, voice very calm and soft spoken, eyes on him as he kept his eyes up ahead.

"Fine, thank you, so, what are your plans for tonight?" Philip stopped the both of them by a bench, giving them a good reason to have a quick seat.

Andrea smiled brightly and gazed his way.

"Nothing, why?" she gave a little laugh, and continued to stare in his direction, while he sat with his back erect. He had to wait a few seconds; "I'm cookin' up a turkey dinner tonight, I would like it if you came, bring Michonne if you'd like," he explained to her and suddenly her ears perked up.

She hasn't had a good cooked meal in a long time. How could anyone say no to that?

"Of course, I would like that, but Michonne, I don't think she would enjoy coming, and its not you, its just that she's been having a rough time for the past few weeks," she explained to him, being absolutely forward.

He accepted her words;

"If there are any leftovers, I'll make sure she gets some," he smiled at her gorgeous smile and the two of them stood up and continued to chat while they resumed their path ahead.

**::**

**E/N: I hope it was somewhat enjoyable, I don't want to make it all happen to fast, but there will be a surprise! Stick around for the last update!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Philip saw something he never wish he had; he has plans for the beautiful Andrea. Please read and enjoy! Read warnings below**

**Warnings: language, alcohol use, sexual assault and dialog of rape**

**Can't Stop the Way I Feel: Walking Dead**

**::**

By the time the clock hit 6:34, dinner was already done, and the apartment smelled of a wonderful cooked meal. Andrea sat at the dinner table, ready to assist him if he needed it at any moment.

"Do you need help?" she asked, standing up from where she was sitting, looking over across the room at him. The Governor let out a carefree chuckle, picking up the plate of cut turkey. "I'm fine," he assured her with a soft smile, walking toward the table, to place the plate down in the middle of everything else that had been recently brought over.

When it was time to eat, Andrea was frozen in place.

The Governor poured her another glass of red wine, and himself. "Is everythin' alright?" he wondered, looking at her in a very particular way.

The blonde woman smiled up at him and grabbed her fork. "There is just so much, it looks very delicious, but I don't think I can eat all of it," she said, replacing her smile with a weak one, staring across the table at Philip. The man let out a chuckle, sipping his wine.

"I wasn't plannin' on eatin' it all, I'm goin' to save some for the others if they would like some, I've made enough to go around, but take as much as you'd like, serious," he told her with a grin, picking up his fork. Andrea raised her brows and shrugged her shoulders; she began to fill her plate with just the right amount of food. Some potatoes, green beans, and a few slices of the peppered turkey. She took a quick sip from her glass, and finally dug in. Philip watched her hungry opposite take over, and it made him smile. He started to eat as well.

"So no Merle or Milton?" Andrea asked out of the blue just a few moments after chowing down, some food still left in her mouth. Philip perked his head up and stared at her for a minute.

He swallowed what was left in his throat and put his fork down.

"I'll see where they are, would you like them to join?" he stood up from his spot, and waited for an answer. Andrea finally swallowed, and put her own fork down. "I just thought it would be nice," she replied in the softest voice ever. Philip nodded his head, and headed for the door.

"I'll be right back," he left and closed the door behind him.

Andrea sat there in the silence, looking down at the plate full of food before her. She picked up her glass again and took a swig this time. Something about him was off, and she didn't have a clue what it was.

When he returned, the two men she hoped to see were right behind him. Philip closed the door, and they all began their feast. He'd only been gone for ten minutes or so, and the food was still pretty warm, so they all began to fully chow down, and chat. More than a few laughs were shared, embarassing secrets were broken, and the rest of the night had been the best time of Andrea's life, well in a long time.

Milton was the first to leave. He had a lot of things to get done, and then it was Merle. He stayed just as long as Andrea and Philip had.

"Thank you for the lovely dinner, Governor, I really enjoyed it," she said to him with a pretty smile, while he walked her towards the outside, Merle already gone. Philip looked down at his feet as they moved and then looked back up at her.

"You're welcome, and call me Philip," he informed her, and she nervously smiled.

Was he planning on trying to kiss her again? She just wasn't ready for it, ever. "You have a good night," he was the first to say, and it totally surprised her when he was gone just like that before she could even acknowledge him.

She left his premises, and walked on down the sunset road, back to her room.

.

During the rest of the night, Andrea couldn't keep her mind off of the ruthless Dixon boy. His filthy sailor mouth, his crooked smile, and that hardly laugh of his all continued to play in her head over and over again.

It put a smile to her face.

She gave no other thought to Philip; maybe she was wrong about Merle, even if he did call her a 'rug-muncher', that was all in the past now. He was still cocky as ever, but that was probably the one thing that got her attention more than ever.

Not being able to lay down and rest like she'd hoped, she left the room before Michonne made it back, and went out in search of that crazy Dixon man.

It wasn't too late, seeing that some of the residents were still wandering about; she had no problem finding Merle. He was lounging at one of the benches, drinking from a red solo cup he had got from one of the female cooks. Best water he's had in a long, long time. When he spotted her from a far, he couldn't keep that smile back for long. He had no idea why she was coming his way, but he wasn't going to complain.

"Well, if it ain't little blondie, what are you still doin' up, don't you need yer' beauty rest?" he teased giving her a little grin, making room for her to sit. Andrea looked down then brought her eyes back on to him.

"Nope, don't need that anymore, there's nobody left in the world to please," she admitted, and sat back in the bench, shifting around, trying to find a comfortable position. Merle watched her move and then handed her his drink.

"Water?" he added, but she politely declined.

"What's yer' reason fer' comin' over here, I thought you had somethin' goin' on fer' the Governor," Merle asked with a smile, looking over at her, while putting his prosthetic arm up and over the back of the bench, laying one leg over top of his knee.

Andrea looked down at the space between her knees and looked in Merle's direction but a little passed him. "No, I don't, I honestly don't know my reason for coming, but I know for a fact that I couldn't get any sleep, so here I am," she explained to him and finally looked the man in the eyes. Merle bobbed his head slightly, showing her that he was listening. He gulped down the last of his water, and stood up with a grunt. Andrea looked up at him, and he caught that very expression in her face. He couldn't stop that smile that appeared on his lips.

"What is it, I don't really understand you?" he stated, looking down at her brightened face. Andrea hid a smile as she pointed her head down, but that hand of his told her something else.

She gazed up; "Let's take a walk," he gave a soft flick of his wrist and she was up off her butt in seconds.

**.**

Philip had finished cleaning up, and putting away the leftovers; he was beyond tired.

He poured himself some of his good Gin from his stash in one of his square glasses, and downed about three of those. He stared at the picture of his wife and daughter again for the billionth time just before making his way in to his office, where he sat at his desk, withering away in his own distorted thoughts.

Philip was never as sane as he'd like to think. He hasn't been right for a very long time; his father made him feel worthless, pathetic, like a waste of a human being while on the other hand, he treated his older brother like the world revolved around him. Philip always tried to do good in his lifetime, always tried to make his old man proud, but that never happened.

His brother was the one that made millions, mean while, Philip stayed at his fucking mediocre job, not making enough for his family. That destroyed half of his sanity.

.

He left his apartment, went out to take a little stroll around town, only to witness the two people he held close to him walking up the road toward him.

Philip brought a hand to his face, and gave it a good brush; he felt a tad inebriated, but thankfully not as much as he had planned earlier. Merle was why she wouldn't kiss him, he was why she wouldn't stay a little later with him, that damn Dixon was the reason why he couldn't have Andrea. Philip tried not to let it get to him, but it was so hard.

He made sure they didn't see him, and he turned his back, heading back to his apartment.

"I still don't understand why ya' come up to me now," Merle snickered with a crooked grin, leaning up against one of the buildings on main street, holding his arms crossed across his chest. The atmosphere was very warm, and it showed on their bodies.

Andrea let out a sweet laugh and brushed it aside.

"I never stopped once and get to know you, but now, I'm glad I did," she confessed to him with a genuine smile, and with that said, she let herself initiate the upcoming kiss. Merle saw it a mile away, and he wasn't hesitant at all to take it. Their lips met for the first time in the gentlest of ways. Andrea was quite surprised that the kiss coming from Merle didn't bobble her mind, but she accepted it, and the kiss lasted for only a minute, before she pulled away to truly think about it.

Merle licked up the leftover juices covering his lips from Andrea and looked up in to the sky. It had become so suddenly dark, but Merle was used to it.

"Well, thanks for the walk, I should be heading back to my room now, goodnight," Andrea said childishly just before turning to leave.

Merle nodded his head. He watched her leave and turned on his own heels.

.

On her way back to her room, she just realized she had left her bag in Philip's apartment. Just now remembering that sent her mind in to a complete frenzy.

She decided it would be best to just go get it before morning, so she went off to his apartment without any hesitation. There was a knock at his door; there were quite a few, so he looked out his peep-hole to make sure who it was. He saw her lovely face. 

Philip unlocked the door, pulled back the chain-lock, and pulled open the door. One look at him and she felt her face turn red hot. He was in a dark robe, chest half-way visible, damn, she came over at the wrong time when he seemed to be getting himself ready for bed. She felt stupid, but he reassured her and invited her inside for a little bit. It was a bit startling to see him like that, but it wasn't a half-bad picture.

"Are you havin' trouble sleepin'?" the man asked, walking her in to his main room, pouring himself another glass.

He pointed at it, offering her one, but she sweetly declined.

"No, I just came back because I accidently left my bag over here, and I am so sorry for bugging you this late,"Andrea apologized with a half smile, making sure to keep her eyes where they were supposed to be.

The Governor only smiled, and walked over toward the half startled woman, with her bag dangling in his hand.

"Don't apologize, its perfectly alright, I was just gettin' myself ready for the night," he explained to her in the world's most simplest, yet slyest voice, stepping even more closer toward her, so close she began to worry about it.

Andrea's hand reached out for the bag, and she grabbed it, but one look in to his eyes, and she knew something beyond her defenses was about to occur.

"Thank y-you, I should be going," she said making the mistake of turning her back on him. She's never been this worried and fearful for her life. Not even the walkers had scared the living shit out of her as much as he had. He was too close again, this time, she could feel his eyes burning straight through the back of her skull, she had to make a run for it.

"You are too tense, you should have a seat, relax," he brought his hands up toward the back of her, and put them over her two shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze that made her jump straight in to defense mode.

"Don't touch me!" the woman spat, and her face showed every little emotion she was currently feeling. Philip only gave her a look of concern.

"Have a drink, I'm not goin' to hurt you, Andrea," he told her in a very calm way that sent shivers down her very spine. He wasn't normal, he wasn't like anyone else around her. Michonne's feelings about this man were right; she felt terrible for not listening to her in the beginning, but it wasn't too late to leave this place.

"I don't want a drink, I want to get out of here, leave me alone, please," she sounded almost too vulnerable and that made his preditory instincts even stronger.

He was doing all he could to keep her here, have her stay here, but doing it all the calm and gentle way wasn't working with her. Philip never liked being the bad guy, but in this situation, that's how it was going to be.

"I saw you and Merle," he admitted right to her face, watching those lovely features of hers turn in to something awful and terrified. He never stopped moving forward, no matter how much she continued to move backward. Andrea swallowed and looked down at her bag, quickly rummaging through it for some kind of defense weapon. Philip saw her actions, and took the bag away from her within seconds, tossing it to the floor, never once breaking eye contact.

She furrowed her brows and made a tiny whimper deep in the back of her throat.

"Do you watch me, what is your deal, Philip, I never thought of you as that kind of man, you-you I'm leaving!"she informed him, and made a great attempt at first trying to make it out the door, but he was faster than her, and pushed it closed right as it cracked open.

His breathing was calm, but that look in his eyes was what got to her. She was now stuck against the door, nearly helpless.

He caged her in with both of his arms, and looked deep in to her eyes. "I always thought you were beautiful, the moment I saw your eyes, I knew I was stuck on you," he admitted only honestly and very truthfully to her. He wasn't a lying man.

Those words of his only terrified her more.

She did the only thing she could in her situation. She used the palms of her hands to shove at his chest, but it only brought him closer.

"Let me go, Philip," Andrea cried louder this time, and Philip smiled at her pleads. His eyes traveled curiously around her gorgeous face, using one of his hands to stroke one side of it. Her skin was as creamy as he dreamt. It made his heart pound and his thoughts race; "All I wanted to do was make you feel wanted, I only want to make you feel like the beautiful woman you are," Philip continued on tossing a bunch of jumbled up words, that sounded totally insane to her ears.

Andrea felt unwelcomed tears sting her eyes; she couldn't be feeling anything for this poor man could she? Maybe she was just so scared for her life right now; she had no idea what was going on.

Her legs suddenly felt like jell-o, she'd be on the floor by now if it weren't for him standing here.

**.**

She was on the ground, doing all she could to fight the man off, but everything she did sucked all the energy out of her, and it wasn't doing a thing to him.

"You are a woman I've been wantin' for a long time, you are just so beautiful, soft and delicate," he whispered in to the soft skin of her neck, while his hands discovered marvelous areas of her body. Andrea heard herself whimper and sob, but it was so hard not to. This man she came to look up to as a leader, was disobeying her wants and needs.

He was not at all violent nor abusive toward her, but he took away her pride and half her dignity.

.

The next morning, Michonne was busy in the shower. Andrea slept pretty heavy, and most of last night was a blur, besides the pain.

She wanted to be around the ones that truly care for her.

Philip was obsessed with everything about her. She shivered at the thought of him, laying flat on her belly, hair a mess and a pillow smashed in her face. Not so comfortable as she remembered; she ached, she ached all over, but she couldn't tell Michonne, she couldn't tell anyone about last night. It would destroy the whole town of Woodbury and the people here needed this.

Andrea never left her bed, sleeping half her day away. Michonne made sure she ate, but when she didn't want a thing, the other woman gave her the space she needed and left.

It surprised Andrea when she woke up to find Merle before her. She blinked her eyes a few times before giving them a good rub, and she sat up to find his eyes.

"Merle?" she wondered, mind still a little bobbled from the alcohol last night. She squinted her eyes, and finally, she realized it really was Merle standing there. She smiled and jumped up, wrapping her arms around his neck. She buried her face in to his moist neck, and inhaled. She needed his embrace;

Merle was surprised at the contact, but he let it happen, putting his two arms around her, while she sat up on her knees, still on the mattress. "What is it, blondie?" he asked, not wanting to pull away, but did so to look in her eyes. He was serious, his face and that hard voice said so. Andrea swallowed hard, and looked down at the sheets beneath her. She reached down to grab at those sheets, and fisted them as hard as she could until her knuckles turned pale white.

The Dixon could tell something wasn't right, something was clearly bothering her.

"I need you Merle," she confessed, and those sweet words of hers sent his entire world in to a spiraling mess. He furrowed his thin brows, and looked down at her. She was the one woman he would enjoy spending the rest of his time with.

"Come 'ere blondie," with those words said, and his arms open, Andrea returned the gaze, and collided in to him.

That embrace and intimate contact was what she really needed.

"Thank you, Merle,"

**::**

**E/N: How was that? Was it a good ending? Philip is one obsessive piece of man huh, well thanks for reading!**


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